The Problem
(A late night stream of consciousness I felt worth sharing)
The problem is, we assume we have time:
To watch our children grow into adults.
To right the wrongs we have caused in relationships.
To achieve our lofty life goals.
How differently would we live if we knew how little time we really had?
Or our partners had.
Or our friends.
Or our children.
Would we still sweat the small stuff, absorb ourselves in petty spats with those we love?
Maybe we would.
To be human is to be flawed, after all.
How else can we explain what plays out every day on the world stage?
The children without mothers.
The mothers without children.
The men with blood on their hands.
When my children were babies, older women would stop me in the street and say “cherish every moment.”
I, sleepless and struggling would merely blink back at them, uncomprehending.
Now, I see.
I could not have cherished every moment then any more than I can cherish every moment now.
Because the cruel trick life plays on us is only allowing us to cherish moments in hindsight.
The only way to win at life (if there is such a thing when the only fact we know to be true is that all life will end) is to harness the power of now.
The question is: How?
The problem is, we assume we have time. This hits deep. Shifting from the pressure to cherish to the simple act of witnessing the now is where the real healing happens. It takes the guilt out of the motherhood experience and replaces it with honest presence.